How different would the plots of famous blockbusters be if Donald Trump replaced the fictitious president?


Good morning. Really, I’d say it’s the best morning, but the lying press would say not. Good’s OK. It’s a good morning. In less than an hour, the best aircraft in the world, from here, American, will join others from around the world. OK aircraft. Not great, just OK. And you know why they’re OK? They bought them from us. Really I should say they’re the best aircraft, because we built them. But they’re just OK. Those aircraft, and our beautiful American aricraft will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. They said it couldn’t be done, but we did it. The best aerial battle in history. EVER.

Mankind — what does that mean? We have men, we have women, they have aliens. What does mankind really mean? Really, it should be American-kind. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. Everyone from all over the globe should think of themselves as Americans. Not forever. Not tomorrow. Just for today. Just for this great, spectacular aerial battle.

Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July– I don’t know. Fate. They tell me it’s fate. I say it’s because America is great, and we love freedom. But it’s the 4th of July and you will once again be fighting for America. Because who doesn’t love America? We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist, and to make the world great again.

And should we win the day, the 4th of July will still be the greatest American holiday, but, you know what, I’ll be nice. I’m going to let the rest of the world pretend like it’s their holiday, too. Why? Because we’re nice. Nobody ever says it, but we’re great. We’ll let everyone else have the 4th of July, too. Everyone else can remember today as the day when the world declared in one voice:

We will not go quietly into the night! It’s not even night. It’s, what, 6:30 AM. It’s morning. We won’t go quietly into the morning or the night.

We will not vanish without a fight! And, you know what, it’s going to be one hell of a fight. We have airplanes, and bombs. We even have allies with airplanes.

We’re going to live on! America always lives on.

We’re going to survive! We’re going to make Earth great again.

Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!

Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger

Author: VVillyD